In Bangkok after mental rape by El Al Airlines

We are finally in Bangkok after what might have been the most stressful event in our lives so far. Somehow Mia and I got listed as high risk passengers by the El Al Airlines ground crew at Heathrow airport. We didn't quite understand what that meant at first but after being taken into a separate room to answer questions about everything and nothing ("What are your flatmates names?", "Why did you choose to fly with El Al?" and "Where is your UK visa?") and informed that we were not allowed to bring our hand luggage onboard the plane (instead we had to put it into plastic bags) we had a rough idea.

We thought everything would be fine once we had passed the security control and were taken by surprise when we found it was there everything actually started in El Al airlines special gate checks. We are talking full body checks (they actually checked my hair for hidden items!), samples taken from our clothes, skin and every single item we brought with us (in our plastic bags...). After a while Mia was taken onboard the flight (a member of staff actually led her all the way to her seat) while I had to wait without knowing anything. After nearly two hours waiting I was told I was not allowed to bring any electronic devices, but instead had to send them back to my UK address. Just great news when you're about to spend two months travelling! After a hysterical fit and some shouting they were "kind" enough to put it in my backpack that was already checked in so during the next fifteen hours of flying I could do nothing but hope they actually put it in the right bag.

All this happened while Mia saw the plane get more and more packed, at one point the captain actually told the passengers the plane was soon ready for take off. As one of the last passengers at the gate check I was finally allowed to board the plane, this in the style of a very upset catwalk though the already full plane. I can't really say that we had that "We're on our way!"-feeling at take off. Maybe needless to say but DO NOT fly with El Al Airlines, even if they gave us a story to tell the grandchildren.